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Valentine: From Others to Oneself

Letting this Valentines be the turning point: directing the love from searching an other, to finding my self.

When we hear the word ‘Valentine’ we often become conscious, thinking about lovers. But have you ever wondered about how you can possibly love others if you don’t love yourself? There is a famous proverb “Love your neighbour as you love yourself,” which simply means that if you don’t know how to love yourself, you can’t quite translate it to others. People talk about selfless love but as per economic theory, there is no action driven without a reason, though it is fairly possible that the doer of the act may not know that reason so they labels it as selfless. If I speak in pure economics, self love is like a utility maximizing the consumer! Did that just wizz past your head? It simply means what you expect to get, you actually get in reality also. So why expect it from others! Start asking of it from yourself. Take command of willing to love yourself rather than looking for a special someone on the outside when its really all sitting within you. Yes, it’s inside each one of us, all we really need is the patience and time to be able to discover ourselves. Once we start doing this, we will experience inner contentment, confidence and peace of mind that is not swayed by outside events, changes and opinions. Self love is never about comparing yourself to others, it’s never even about pushing your weight down on others and it’s never about getting your way all the time or winning over and over again. It’s about being kind to yourself, looking after your mind, body and spirit. It’s knowing your worth – not because of what you have achieved or what you look like or what others think of you but because love is your birth right no matter what! It’s about knowing your values & boundaries and honouring them. To love yourself is to be in awe of the miracle of your existence. It enables and empowers you to make healthier choices. Gautam Buddha said “Give the love you wish to experience, to yourself and you will find all your relationships transforming in a miraculous manner.” The more you love yourself, the more everything and everyone you encounter benefits from it, including you. Now the main thing is, how to approach your self love? This can vary from person to person, depending on preferences just like writing a love letter to yourself, stating that “You deserve the world and more. You are smart. You are beautiful. You are enough. You are everything. You are all.” Explore all the means that comfort you and give yourself ample amount of time. Celebrate love with yourself. Don’t take everything so personally and try to not let others get you down. Most of the time, things have nothing to do with you, and everything to do with the other person. When people hurt you, try and understand their side of the story. Forgive them. Learn from their wrongdoings, and then let it remain in the past. Stop being harsh on yourself! Be someone who is confident, comfortable and empowered. They keep saying beautiful is something a girl needs to be but honestly? Forget that. Don’t be beautiful be intelligent, be witty, be interesting, be crazy, be talented There is an eternity of other things to be other than beautiful and what is beautiful any way? a set of letters strung together to make a word? Be your own definition of anything, always. That is much more important than anything beautiful, ever!